Micheal Thomas Ford provides us with an exhilarating novel that requires a certain level of
maturity to intake the amount of trauma this book has. There are descriptive sex scenes and
content that are amongst those lines. But it is all for purpose to teach us, the readers, about the
seriousness of LGBTQ and the amount of exclusion and hate the community receives.
On New Year's Day, fifteen year old Jeff found himself waking up in the psychiatric ward of the
hospital due to his attempt at suicide. Jeff got placed in a forty five day program at the psych
ward to hopefully help him find comfort and peace in himself at the end. But for the meantime
Jeff was required to attend group therapy sessions along with private one on one therapy
sessions with Dr. Katzrupus, or as Jeff likes to call him “cat poop”. As Jeff attended these
amendatory sessions, we are able to follow along and gain insight amongst problems that have
most likely tipped him off the plank. For instance, when Dr. Katzrupus mentioned one of the
other teen in the psych ward, Sadie, and how she might possibly remind Jeff of a person that
affected him in his life physically and emotionally, Jeff became extremely defensive; stating
“What kind of pervert are you?” “Can’t you just look at some porn?” “Or do you like hearing
about peoples sex lives?” These answers indicate that there is definitely something Jeff is
hiding. His immediate defensive responses show that he is protecting something or someone.
We can now clearly see that Jeff is in denial and will not even bother to cooperate.
As Jeff got deeper into his 45 day program, he was met with a newly admitted patient named
Rankin. Meeting Rankin, as I like to say, is a traumatic experience that unfolds the truth. The
truth to why Jeff is really in the psych ward. Jeff’s experience with Rankin allowed us to get an
understanding of Jeff’s sexuality. I know Jeff's sexuality may not be important, but it has
everything to do with why he woke up in the psychiatric ward and lost everything.
As Jeff’s time came to end in the psych ward, he goes on to say “It kind of feels like summer
camp. For a couple of years I went to this place called Camp Mikigwani. For the two weeks I
was there I hated everything about it, the swimming, the campfire sing-alongs, the stupids
crafts, the other kids. Everything. Then, the night before my parents came to pick me up, I’d
start to wish I could stay for another two weeks.” Jeff made this connection between the summer
camp and the psych ward as a way to express how he became comfortable as time went on. He
may have hated being in the psych ward, receiving help, but he came to terms with the fact that
he needed the help. By doing this Jeff was able to find himself again. He became comfortable
with who he is.
While reading Suicide Notes, I was taken over by many emotions ranging from excitement and
happines all the way to frustration and sadness. Micheal did a fantastic job in creating a story
that unfolds uniquely as we reach the answer to why Jeff was in the situation he was in. We are
given chunks of information about Jeff’s life before entering the program in the psych ward. His
personality, life story, and chaotic thoughts unravel through conversations between other
patients and also with Dr. Katzrupus. Micheal just doesn't plain out give us that information and I
absolutely love that. I admire his discretely smooth style of writing.
Not only did Micheal gift us a fantastic fiction novel, he provides us with an opportunity to learn
about a real-world problem concerning the LGBTQ community. He educates us about the hate
and traumatic life the people a part of the LGBTQ community have to go through because the
world is set up in a way where people are afraid to be themselves. If people seem different in
any way, they immediately become afraid to show their real-self. After reading this book, I
realized, as highschool students and young adults we have to turn this society around for the
future generations. We have to create an environment where people can like the same gender
as theirs or dress as the gender opposite of theirs. It doesn’t even have to be about sexaultiy. As
the future generation, we have to build a world for the future generations to come and be
themselves. It is perfectly ok for someone to be utterly different than you. The only way we can
get closer to our destination is to keep spreading love and acceptance and hopefully we will get
there one day.
Conclude the review:
I strongly suggest you read this book. It is an eye opening experience that will have you change
the way you perceive life.

Check out Suicide Notes from NBPL!